12 days til the plane takes off -- in my letter, I wrote that I was leaving on May 1, but the date has been changed and now it's April 27. That's really soon, and sometimes that scares me! There are still a lot of things to do before then (ie exams, pack and move!) and lots of prep for the trip, but atleast the plane ride is long and will give me some time to process and "relax".
Something that I have been thinking about lately, is what my expectations are for this summer. I am afraid of going, and having the mindset that it is going to be the same as last year, and then being disappointed. It's not going to be the same -- yes, same location and seeing some of the same people, but my team has changed, my role has changed, and holding onto to last year could be dangerous. Last year we had a fabulous team that bonded extremely well -- we were a family. And I truly desire that this year as well. That we would all be unified and get along, and become a family. I think that I am scared of loneliness as well. With not knowing very many people that I will feel alone - so please pray for that. That I would be open with people and develop some great friendships, just like last year.
It also kind of frightens me, that people will be looking to me for help. I am the only person that has been to Malawi before, so I have an understanding of what to expect and what worked what didn't, etc. I don't want to lead people on the wrong direction - or give them the wrong information. But as much as I have fears about these things, I also have excitment. For I know that God is strong where I am weak, and that through these fears, He will be glorified and will mold me more into His daughter -- and that is pretty darn cool!
A visual reminder of why I want to go back....
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